Friday, April 04, 2008

Enna Koduma Sir ithu..?

In a month, I am starting to India to attend my brother's marriage. One question is revolving in my mind for a long time: "What is this concept of marriage? Why should we marry someone?"

I asked this question to my friend. His answers was "I marry some girl because I love her". Logical..r8. But, why should you love just one girl? What is the restriction? Can't I love more than one girl? Why am I being stopped?

When I was a kid, I loved Poori a lot. During tours, my parents would always have a parcel of poori for me. I 'loved' it a lot. But, when I had them lot, the love started to disappear. Now, I do not take Pooris anymore. In fact, I started hating Pooris. So, Won't that appear in my love towards a girl? Why should I get into a life time commitment? Anyway, there are ways to seperate even after marriage. But, why is this ceremony and the expectation that the couples would live together for ever....

Almost everyone believes that human beings evolved from animals... No animals have this concept of marriage with very few exceptions. Ofcourse, there are lot of examples for living together... Why is the marriage introduced in human beings alone...

If the answer would be love, then... I am sorry. I do not know the counter question. So, it is just due to some hormonal problem (i.e. love) we are getting into a long term bond(age)..

Enna Koduma Sir ithu..?

9 comments:

Siva said...

he he, the guy who said that must be in some sort of delusion.

Marriage is sort of an insurance. For assured $ex for everyone (you don't have to compete every time you need it), for old people to have someone to attend to, etc. Like any other insurance - you have to pay the premium :-). And like any other insurance the good guys get a raw deal. Here the guys/gals who could have had multiple mates end up with one and still pay the premium. But it helps others.

And arranged marriages are conspiracies against evolution. Doesn't it help the survival of even the genes that would have gotten eliminated otherwise ?

And monogamy is a 20th century idea. We moved from a harem to '2 to 3 wives' to 1 now. We may move to 0 , or '2 to 3 husbands'. So don't you worry.

Sarangan Rajamanickam said...

This seems valid....

But, the premium is so large for this service... :-)

Anonymous said...

So thoughtful....

ya, one can live like an animal if he/she wants. It is a brith right. The pain is that there is no space for them in human society. May be, a separate society shud be formed for this kind of people ;)

Sarangan Rajamanickam said...

anony....

do not be so much emotional... "no space for them in human society"... God.. What do you define as human society...

In one country, monogamy is correct. in another polygamy is correct.. in one, the divorce is a long process.. in another it is quick and easy... in one country abortion is legal and in another it is illegal.. in one society "living together" is acceptable..in another, it is intolerable... in one, prostitution is legal..in another it is illegal...

so, which "human society" are you referring to? There is no single rule that applies to the entire human society...

there are somethings which might appear wonderful in paper..but practically useless..

Anonymous said...

U r mentioning the difference within human society. But, my comment was based on the line u wrote /No animals have this concept of marriage with very few exceptions./

I'm referring the human society that is said to be civilized whereas animals aren't (for ex, animals have sex even among family members).

so, living like an animal is not suitable in this so called civilized society.

Sarangan Rajamanickam said...

Anony..(You could have atleast mentioned ur name)...

First, the "human society"..now the "civilized society"...

Let me ask you..How do you define a civilized society? What is 'civilized' mean? If two members are married and they live together just because of the compulsion of the society, is that a civilized society? If that is your definition of civilized society, I would be more happy to be uncivilized and lead a 'animal' life....

Animals do not have sex within the family...

Well.. this part I accept. Also, animals do not eat cooked food.. if you want to add it to the list of differences..:-)

My whole point is that "Living Together" is a better concept than marriage and it works.... So, why should people still hang on to the concept of marriage?..

Anonymous said...

/You could have atleast mentioned ur name/

what is in the name, at least in net discussions :)

/Let me ask you..How do you define a civilized society? What is 'civilized' mean?/

Simply, Not living merely like animals ;)

Society always keeps finding some set-up thro' long-time living experience which is better for an individual and the society (and, keep moving towards the best). Of course, these set-ups are changing with situation/environment/time.

When most of the people find the same way as you have found(!) that 'living together' the best, it will be established in the society.
But, you have to wait till then ;)
Because, when it comes to society, individual's wish needs to fit with society's wish to all live together in harmony (what the hell, one cann't walk around nude in this society even he/she wants). So, I noted, a separate society shud be formed for those who want to live the other way, in the mean time.

Have u ever analyzed why the western society even holding the 'living together' culture goes for the 'marriage'?

Sarangan Rajamanickam said...

well..I can certainly wait till then..:-) (But I think the society IS currently changing...which is good...)

the western society is still holding to marriage because they cannnot get rid of the old beliefs... but still thatz changing...not all goes for a marriage.... anyway, if change comes slowly i will be more happy...

aravind said...

sarangan..
after a long time i am going thru ur blogs.. had something to reply..

how can u compare "poori" and "pondati".. r they both the same..

r u ever bored with ur parents?..

if u see ur wife like poori.. u ll ofcourse get bored and will go for pongal..

it is not a materialistic thing.. it is an emotional one.. a relation..please change the way u see it.. and if u can keep changing things like that " so frequently", it is lust and not love...